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Are majority of long married couples not happy in their relationships? That question has been bothering me for quite some time now. As a Feng Shui consultant, I come across many clients with less than happy marriages. Many times my clients will ask me for a ‘secret' cure or recommendation that would miraculously improve their relationship with their spouse. I consulted some of my married friends. These couples, which are over 50 years old, were chosen because of their age and the fact that they have been married for a long time Their answer was quite shocking - to me. Based on their own observations and those of their friends, they are of the opinion that 90% of married people are unhappy in their marriages, for one reason or another. Sadly, they don't have fairy tale happy endings. Is there a cure? It may be possible. In olden Chinese societies arranged marriages are commonplace. The birth details of the couple are examine to see if they are compatible, before they let them marry. Will this succeed every time? There are increased chances with it but it may not work every time. However through years of observation, they found out that if you combine it with some conditions, you can increase the chances of having a happy and lasting marriage. While this insight is for all, it is most important for those with a background of failed marriages or relationships, to remember this. Here are some of the conditions. In the past, it was customary for the wife to be younger than the husband. Such as this is a custom. It cannot and should not be broken. However the ancients also observed that for those with unsuccessful marriages or relationships, breaking the tradition can be a solution. In ancient China, even if a wife is only one day older than her spouse, she would be considered the elder. But for more positive results, a bigger age difference is better. The other option for a more successful relationship is for the husband to be much older than the wife. There must be at least 8 years between them before the ancient Chinese would consider it to be much older. In practice, 10 or 15 years older is perfectly acceptable or desired. It would also increase the chances if there is a big disparity in the social and economic standard between the husband and the wife. An example of this would be a couple where the husband is a degreed corporate executive, but the wife is a product of a less wealthy family, and has had little schooling herself. Can it be switched to the opposite way? A husband being always a breadwinner in olden days it was not possible. As women are earning more than their husbands today,why not? In old days the next condition applied only to women then. If she cannot be a successful first wife, it does not mean that she cannot be successful being the second or third one. So, being the other women can be an option that leads to success! I have no idea about being the alternate man, you know! What if none of the above works? The final option is to have a spouse that is of a different race or from a different culture. Indians and Chinese from two different culture. To give an example, if one was raised in China and the other was raised in America. We have been the beneficiaries of our forefathers' wisdom. If you are having problems forming lasting relationships, you should try it out. Nothing to lose here!
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Henry Fong Feng Shui Consultant More on Chinese Pregnancy Calendar
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